No Direction

‘Write about something you’re interested in’!

That statement along with the likes of , ‘tell the class something interesting about yourself’ (thanks Conor for covering that one)  or ‘what does that degree get you…you know what do you do with that?’, should come with trigger warnings.

So, just write a blog post about a passionate of yours, ok! Umm, (thinks , thinks, gets distracted ..thinks…) For God sake, why can’t you just give me a topic?

 

This might make me sound completely mental or hopefully, be slightly relatable to at least one other person. I, genuinely, don’t have a passion, an interest, a hobby or the faintest idea of what I want / should be doing. I’ve battled with this for ages but now, in final year, it seems like I’m really going to have to face it and deal with it head on. Not only do I have to think of something that I can withstand writing 10,000 words about for dissertation but after that, this escape from the ‘real world’ we call uni is over and it’s every woman/man for themselves.…

 

After a failed attempt to think of my passion, I literally Goggled (and not for the first time) ‘how to find your passion?’ Alas, ‘8 ways to find your passion’. Brilliant! There it is, when this load, I’ll have it. Ok …off to a good start, I suppose I’m not the only own to fill a little lost or unmotivated, but none of these articles, forums or blogs are providing me with what I need. It’s all about how to quit your job and fulfil your passion, but I’m looking for how to find it. Anyway, after reading and scrolling through comments – I couldn’t help but roll my eyes a little when ‘tash83xo’ told us that ‘waking up at 6am for a 45-minute run and an expresso/vanilla protein shake before the kids got up changed her life’. I needed more depth, more meaning and insight… Audible!

Dusting of that old app paused in the middle of ‘The Wisdom of Sundays: Life-Changing Insights from Super Soul Conversations’ by Oprah I began listening again and fell in love with it. Honestly, it’s such a great listen and I’d recommend to anyone, even if you’re not going through some sort of quarter life crisis, which is what I’m calling it at this point. Philosophers, phycologists, monks, ex-criminals take on different chapters and talk about everything from food, loneliness, road rage to life’s purpose.

Inspiration comes in waves when listening to it in the car driving to and from work, Oprah calls these ‘ah-ha’ moments. When something is said and it resonates, hits you in the gut or you get little butterflies and I think ‘I do that’, ‘I get that’.  I write notes on my phone, saving quotes which provide momentary relief or revelations.

One of them, probably the most relevant when it comes to uni or going out into the world of work, would be from Alan Watts “If you say that getting the money is the most important thing, you’ll spend your life completely wasting your time. You’ll be doing things you don’t like doing in order to go on living, that is to go on doing thing you don’t like doing, which is stupid.” Very Pinterest but Agreed! Ah-ha moment alert!

Image result for alan watts getting the money

I remember walking into placement on a Friday morning, Frappe Fridays to be specific, and me and the two other girls in the office began one of many Friday morning ‘deep chats’. What’s the point if everyone hates their job?’ ‘We literally live to work so shouldn’t we at least enjoy it’ ‘I think you should travel, and you’ll just figure it out’. After being so inspired on the way into work, I’m stuck again. Coffees finished, wisdom running out we contradicted everything we said and got back to the mundane tasks we didn’t care about until 5pm.

Now, I understand that nobody loves every aspect of their job and that not a single person has a perfect life where everyday is all sunshine and lollipops, but I also reject this idea that everyone completely hates their job and that’s just life because that’s bloody depressing. I want to have a job I’m passionate about. I refuse to be part of a ‘eat, sleep, work, live unconsciously, repeat’ society, at least, not forever . I want to at least be working towards a life that I feel my skills and attributes contribute to. To make a tiniest bit of difference to something would be quite cool.

So, I’m left still searching for what I love. For what I care enough about to dedicate a quite huge chunk of my life to. And, if it’s not going to come to me in an ‘That’s so Raven’ like vision, I’m going to need to figure it out and fast .. there’s another blog to write!

 

Megan Gillespie,  final year BSc in Communication Management & Public Relations at Ulster University. She can be found on: InstagramFacebookLinkedIn