Ok, so I’ll admit it. I have a Netflix addiction. For the past few weeks my life has consisted of work, eat, sleep and Orange is the New Black. Am I sorry? No not really…
However, if a guy asks me over to his student flat for a Netflix date (otherwise known as a ‘Netflix and Chill’) alarm bells immediately sound inside my head. Now for those of you that aren’t familiar with this terminology, please allow me to enlighten you.
If invited to a ‘Netflix and Chill’ sesh you may quite literally just go to a guy’s house and watch the latest Reese Witherspoon RomCom. But more often than not, an invite to a ‘Netflix and Chill’ is known as a total booty call, where by accepting the invitation you are indirectly saying that you are definitely up for having intercourse that night.
Is this dating or is this just a secret code for casual sex?
When I look back at old black and white moves or speak to my grandparents about how they met, technology such as social media, the internet and Netflix simply did not exist. It turns out that people actually had to speak to one and other (I know right? So weird!). People actually used to go on real life, proper dates. You know, the ones where one human being sat across a table from another human being, ordered a milkshake and learnt about the other person’s interests, life and dreams for the future. Sadly, this isn’t really how dating appears to work anymore.
So in my opinion going for a ‘Netflix and Chill’ isn’t really a form of proper romantic dating. Even if I do go to a guy’s house and genuinely do just literally watch a movie (without any Netflix and Chilling going on), what on earth is romantic about that? The two of us just sitting there on his bed, staring at the laptop screen, not speaking, and struggling to concentrate on the movie as his flatmates scream in the next room due to their latest ongoing FIFA tournament. Thanks, but no thanks.
But if a ‘Netflix and Chill’ is just an invite for casual sex, am I ok with that?
Well the answer is yes, yes I am! If I like that guy and as long as I am being safe why wouldn’t I embrace my sexuality and no longer be ashamed to come out and say “Yeah, I had sex last night!”.
Traditionally the idea of a female having a one night stand would brand her ‘promiscuous’ or a ‘slut’. Whereas a male that has had various one night stands would be branded a ‘legend’ and a ‘player’ amongst his fellow male friends.
Well I say no longer! Why shouldn’t all of us women embrace our sexuality, if we want to of course? Now to be clear, I am in no way suggesting that we ladies stop respecting ourselves and jump into bed with every man we come across. Moreover, it is vital to highlight that if we do agree to go for a ‘Netflix and Chill’ sesh, we are under absolutely no obligation to actually have sex. But if we do want to sleep with someone and we are being careful and are happy and healthy, well why the hell not!?
Let’s turn that walk of shame into the walk of fame and applaud the women of or Netflix and Chill generation.
If you have any questions about safe sex or are concerned about your personal sexual health please contact the National Sexual Helpline on 0300 123 7123 for details or visit http://www.nhs.uk.Livewell/Talkingaboutsex/Pages/Ineedhelpnow.aspx
Hannah O’ Connor is a final year student on BSc in Public Relations at Ulster University. She can be found on Twitter @hannahrose94 and on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/hannah-o-connor-0140b3150/